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Life mental health

Into The Second Week Of June

It’s already June 8th and I don’t have a garden in, only half my flowers were transplanted, my trees are looking like I should have trimmed them and my car needs a good washing and we haven’t done school since last Tuesday.

I may have taken on too much again, which I tend to do sometimes and I don’t always know why. Most of the time it’s simple to just step back for a bit but I’m hanging on to everything like my life depends on it. Picture a cat hanging from a window in the pouring rain, unable to pull itself up and into safety. That’s me. The thing is that I’ve been struggling mentally for a few weeks now (more but it’s getting worse) and I honestly feel like I just don’t want to deal with it.

There’s just too much.

So for now I will take my small breaks when possible while holding the household together, dealing with my step-dad who believes he’s dying from covid, this horrible pain that is so constant it hurts to walk, and this cold cloudy weather which I usually thrive in but is making me feel worse.

I don’t mean for this to sound like I’m complaining because there is so much that I’m enjoying. I was happy to get my flowers in, my tulips bloomed beautifully and all my lillies are coming along amazingly, my rhubarb is getting big already, my raspberries are coming I got my huge yard mowed with the help of my kids. My apple tree is blooming and fragrant. There’s beauty all around, that’s for sure. Got news that my cousin is expecting her first child in November, in the midst of making plans to go visit my other cousin.

There’s a lot of plans, we’re blessed with many happy things right now. So, as you can imagine, the ups and downs of the mood swings are driving me up the wall, what is it doing to the others in my house? Lol, I feel bad for them all!

So, off I go! I’m about to make some fresh coffee because I have a meeting starting in about 15 minutes 😀 Oh, right and I should probably get my kids to get dressed LOL

-Ang