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Life mental health Uncategorized

(Re-Blog)Anxiety: Stop Negative Thoughts

I found this was a fascinating and educational post!

Readers choice

Anxiety: Stop Negative Thoughts

Anxiety is having too much fear and worry. Some people have what’s called generalized anxiety disorder. They feel worried and stressed about many things. Often they worry about even small things. Some people also may have panic attacks. A panic attack is a sudden feeling of extreme anxiety.

People who have social anxiety disorder worry that they will do or say the wrong thing and embarrass themselves around others.

Anxiety can cause physical symptoms like a fast heartbeat and sweaty hands. It can make you limit your activities and can make it hard to enjoy your life.

Types of anxiety

Many people with anxiety experience symptoms of more than one type of anxiety condition, and may experience depression as well. It’s important to seek support early if you’re experiencing anxiety. Your symptoms may not go away on their own and if left untreated, they can start to take over…

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Life mental health poetry Uncategorized

(Re-Blog)Only If I Could! – A Poem (Part – 1)

I was so touched by this piece I just had to share it. It’s heart wrenching and sad in an all too familiar way. The tears fall freely each time I read this but for me it encouraged hope and healing and understanding that we are not alone. We don’t have to fight alone, we can hold each others hands for this long and difficult journey. Stay well my friends.

Thank you to http://aratibanstola.wordpress.com for allowing me to re-blog this and for sharing her heart with us.

Rtistic

Drawn and edited by me.

This time I’ve chosen to write a poetry about a very sensitive and serious issue, that is ‘RAPE’. I know it’s quite a long one, but I’ve written it with all my emotions, portraying myself as a clock hanging on the wall and narrating the story of a young girl in the room.


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Life mental health poetry

I’ve Been Stressing Again

Monochrome Photo of Woman

Thanksgiving. Christmas. Family, lack of it. Oy! Haven’t seen some of my family since last Christmas and that’s a really long time. I’m nervous about the upcoming holidays. Anxious actually.

The thing about anxiety is that I don’t believe it ever actually goes away. It’s always there lurking like a silent shadow creeping along beside you, only showing itself at the most inopportune times. When it’s not creeping it’s out in plain site with all it’s glory just hanging out for all to see while dragging you down the darkest alley while you scream profanities into the black holes of other faceless creatures. No one to help you, all judging in the harshest of ways from the color of your shoes to the way your hair curls awkwardly at the back.

No one else can see them, of course. And no one can see that this anxiety has been following you around day after day after day until it finally just jumps at you from behind a light post on your way to the park. And no one can see its long, scaly fingers and the grip they have on you as it drags you off screaming as loud as you can. All they see is you throwing a fit and screaming to no one and everyone.

All I want to do is stay home where I feel safe. All I want to do is go out and see people to take my mind off all the problems. All I want is … I don’t even know.

Well that took a turn in a direction I wasn’t planning. I’ll try again another time. Life is calling.

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Life mental health Uncategorized

I Made It Through Yet Another September (well, almost)

September.

Ever since 2010, the months of August, September and December have been so hard due to some hard times and family things. The depression hits, the mood swings are worse because of numerous reasons, my sleep suffers and I really struggle to even get out of bed most days.

This summer was a very intentional summer in my home. I made a real effort to have fun with the kids, help them make their own decisions (big and small), do things they wanted to do and at the same time fill my own cup with making our adventures educational and memorable. The summer flew by with their first camping trip, their first tenting experience, time at my husband’s family cabin with just me and them, nature walks, sunset chasing, dragonfly saving…ALL the things! I needed it, they needed it. I also made sure to allow tons of time for them to spend with their cousin who they will not be seeing much now that he is starting school many hours away in Moose Jaw. They had their last play date and we were all sad saying good-bye. I worry about him being so far away. And I also worried daily about the 2020 school year looming and what it was going to look like.

Mid-August my youngest turned 5. I’m still trying to figure out how that happened so fast. The day of his birthday I received an email asking all families to let the school district know if they were NOT planning on sending their children back to school. This was a big decision in which I had been speaking to my kids about probably more often than necessary. They knew their options and understood that there was no wrong answer but I wanted them to make that decision from their heart.

Starting September 9th this year my children began new journeys that they had a part in deciding. I am proud of them for making the decision and I am in their corners all the way.

Brody

Brody began grade 5 with a teacher who shares my son’s love of all things nature. He is catching grasshoppers for the class salamanders and helping his teacher find all sorts of bugs and animals outside which his teacher documents and photographs (he is working with some sort of group having to do with nature-I really can’t remember what it is though). The fact that he needs to wear a mask all day and on the bus has not worried him one tiny bit! (Polar opposite from his mom here)

Karina

Karina began her grade 3 year as a homeschooler. We decided not to do remote learning or distance learning. It wasn’t really as much our decision as what ended up happening because of lack of information and poor communication…I can always fill you in on that later lol. Regardless of where her education was going to come from though, she was not going back to school (at least for now). We are only 2 weeks into it and we have already had many ups and downs but I’m learning what kind of learner she is, what makes her tick when it comes to school, and trying to remind myself that I am teaching her, Karina, not me. We all learn differently and this is not a classroom in a school.

Ryan

Ryan started his first day of Kindergarten on September 15. He will be going every second day for the whole day. This is so great for him! He gets to spend time with so many other kids other than his brother and sister and I know this was the right choice for hi as well. Lol, he didn’t make that decision on his own but he did get to give his thoughts and concerns. The mask was not a concern (for him, different story for me haha). I can’t wait to see what kinds of great pieces of art work he will bring home! I just love watching them grow and change throughout their years!

The Workplace

My biggest struggle by far has been my workplace. When they implemented mandatory masks for employees and customers this meant that each I worked I fought back those anxieties and all the trauma responses that come with it. It is exhausting to have to find a way to do my job, deal with customers yelling and threatening (another big trigger for me), my own mental health including the panic attacks that were incurring constantly due to all the triggers and extra stress…I was a mental mess. I still am, to be honest. I’m finding it very hard to cope with it all.

I also worry about the impact this year is going to have on people world wide long term. I fear we’re going to end up with more mass shootings or bomb threats or heaven only knows! I don’t feel there’s enough mental health support for everyone during this pandemic. It worries me that someone could literally *snap* at any given time and I sometimes worry that someone might be me or a teacher at my kid’s school, or a customer that I ask to please pull up their mask. The fear is real.

Anyway, take care for now friends. I’ve missed everyone over the past couple of months and I can’t promise how often I will be able to pop in, at least until I can find some sort of groove with this crazy life, but I’m over here thinking of all of you!

I also want to say a special thank you to Dwain for reaching out. It’s not the first time and honestly I hope it’s not the last. You know when those bad days just pile up and nothing is going according to plan, when the depression has hit too many times to count and you just feel like nothing you do matters anymore? Dwain, your email helped me realize that there are people out there who (even though we’ve never met) care. This means a lot and I truly appreciate your kindness.

-Ang

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Life mental health

Into The Second Week Of June

It’s already June 8th and I don’t have a garden in, only half my flowers were transplanted, my trees are looking like I should have trimmed them and my car needs a good washing and we haven’t done school since last Tuesday.

I may have taken on too much again, which I tend to do sometimes and I don’t always know why. Most of the time it’s simple to just step back for a bit but I’m hanging on to everything like my life depends on it. Picture a cat hanging from a window in the pouring rain, unable to pull itself up and into safety. That’s me. The thing is that I’ve been struggling mentally for a few weeks now (more but it’s getting worse) and I honestly feel like I just don’t want to deal with it.

There’s just too much.

So for now I will take my small breaks when possible while holding the household together, dealing with my step-dad who believes he’s dying from covid, this horrible pain that is so constant it hurts to walk, and this cold cloudy weather which I usually thrive in but is making me feel worse.

I don’t mean for this to sound like I’m complaining because there is so much that I’m enjoying. I was happy to get my flowers in, my tulips bloomed beautifully and all my lillies are coming along amazingly, my rhubarb is getting big already, my raspberries are coming I got my huge yard mowed with the help of my kids. My apple tree is blooming and fragrant. There’s beauty all around, that’s for sure. Got news that my cousin is expecting her first child in November, in the midst of making plans to go visit my other cousin.

There’s a lot of plans, we’re blessed with many happy things right now. So, as you can imagine, the ups and downs of the mood swings are driving me up the wall, what is it doing to the others in my house? Lol, I feel bad for them all!

So, off I go! I’m about to make some fresh coffee because I have a meeting starting in about 15 minutes 😀 Oh, right and I should probably get my kids to get dressed LOL

-Ang