It’s A Pact ;)

Today was a hard one for my daughter. She had a lot of hurt because she is missing our dear doggie that we had to put down Christmas of 2018. They had such a special bond. For some reason it was weighing heavily on her heart all day. Tomorrow is her birthday and she isn’t able to have a party and I think she’s just feeling a lot of feels about so many things.

It was bedtime and she wasn’t listening. Was she not listening? Or was she just needing some extra love? When in doubt, always opt for more love! During our cuddles she said I had yelled at her. I told her (as I hugged her harder) I didn’t yell at her. There’s a difference between being stern and yelling. Did I yell? Or was I maybe being very serious when I told her for the 5th time that it was time to go brush her teeth? She said I was being very serious. Then she burst into tears again and said that I never yell.

I never yell?

She’s wrong, of course. I do yell sometimes but the point is she doesn’t remember the few times that I completely lose it and raise my voice. I was so happy as I spun her around to look at her and I said You noticed??? She nodded as she wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. I don’t yell like I used to do I? I asked her and then I asked how that made her feel. She told me she felt loved.

My heart…

This moment. This is the moment that made all my work worth it. I’m far from being cured but I can tell that I’m well on my way to being in a better place mentally! I’ve noticed changes in my anxiety (my social anxiety is higher than ever though), my stress (overall), my thinking and also in how much easier the positive self talk is coming through. To have my 9 year old daughter verify that was probably the best thing I’ve heard in a looooong time.

So we made a pact with each other that if we notice the other starting to speak louder or getting upset, we are going to look at them say softly “calm” as a little reminder that how we say things impacts people just as much as what we say. Being mindful of our voice and words.

Totally made this Mama’s day 😀