Alone

The wind blows so cold
As cold as the icy heart
That has left me here.

When I realized that I had abandonment issues it really surprised me. It shouldn’t have, but it did. For years I never uttered the words “I love you” to anyone or anything. I was so scared that my pets would leave, my parents would disappear, my sister would be taken, my grandparents would die. I withdrew, isolated myself, poured my heart into my drawings and poems and short stories, turned to drinking and experimenting with a few not-so-serious drugs. Now I’m trying to work through that and understand that people don’t die just because they don’t want to be near us anymore. I know my pet isn’t just going to pack up all the little toys in a sack on a stick and head East. I acknowledge the behavior and now I have to work on changing those thoughts that have become habit over the years.

-Ang